The 1st Principle

Principle 1: Don't criticize, condemn or complain.


Uhh, right. Yesterday I had a Balboa Ferry incident, where after we'd been waiting in line for 1/2 an hour, inching forward slowly but surely, a guy boldly cut in front of the car in front of me, just as we were moving up to the front position to be on the next ferry! In plain view of all of us toward the front of the long line! I was livid, and after I confirmed with the car in front of me that indeed the guy had cut in front of her, I got out of my car and went up to his open passenger window. He had his wife and kid in the car, and I said angrily that he'd just cut in front of us, and we'd been patiently waiting half an hour in line, and I asked him to please consider un-cutting: getting out of the place he'd cut into, and going to the end of the line! Well, he'd have none of this, and angrily (and dishonestly) replied to me, stating that he, too, indeed had been waiting 1/2 an hour (in the alley to cut in front of us!) Of course, he'd only been "waiting" - to cut in front of us - for about 3 minutes or so. I stomped away, fuming. I called the police, who told me I had no recourse, and suggested I call the ferry and tell them to not let him on. I found the ferry phone number online and called them, only to get an answering machine.


Honestly, I remembered the idea of road rage, and this guy looked extremely scary to boot. I considered getting out of my car and walking up to the ferry landing and asking the next ferry to not let this guy on. I immediately thought better of it! I would've been an extrememly obvious target!


I asked the ferry people about it once I got on, and they said that yes, they definitely try to block any cutters from gettting on the ferry, as long as they have sufficient notice before they drive onto the ferry.


Well.


Dale Carnegie says that, "instead of condeming people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness."


In the heat of the moment, it's difficult to take the long, detached view. But eventually I could start to not judge and condemn, and instead feel sorry for him. Carnegie mentions being sympathetic, tolerant and kind. This is spiritual high ground. It must be sought after through spiritual means. It's attainable, I know.


More will be revealed as I delve into this book and start to try to apply the principles.